You know what I've come to realize?
My father is right.
I cannot be an artist.
I cannot amount to anything.

He was right.
And I was too blinded by my own ambition and dreams to see it.
Too young to understand that I don't know what's right.
Too old to just accept it.

I was wrong.
This whole time.
There is nothing for me in this.
I cannot be an artist.

I am not an artist.
My technical skill? Don't even tell me it's good. It's not. It's not even close to what I wish I were. What people accept in this world.
Not that it'd matter anyway, seeing that art is now going digital.
On that note, I can't do photography for that matter.
Oh, and if you didn't know, I stole my Sakura/Trancpaency style from Miki Ishii.
I stole my cartooning style from Yoshitaka Amano and Tim Burton.
I want to steal Guy Bourdin's fetish and I want to steal Mark Rothko's emotions.
I want Tetsuya Nomura's schemes.
I want HR Giger's feel.

I've stolen everything from everyone, and I will never even truely be able to call it mine.


I am not them.
I am not an artist.
I am nothing.